The bright side of the emotion of Shame: Why feeling Shame can make you a better person

Here we open another chapter of our Emotions Tales. The guest of this week is unusual.

Notably, many emotions are crucial for our survival, for our well-being or our relationships. However, some emotions are really special, because they invite ourselves to change, either gently and/or overwhelmingly.

This is the case of Shame. It is hard to define it as a pure negative emotion, since it is often followed by positive consequences for the self.

A visionary article from Lickel e coll. (2014) demonstrated that Shame has a crucial role in motivating people to change. Thus, we need shame to become aware of our weakens in order to improve them for better. However, Shame hurts also a lot.

In other words shame can act as a ” double-edged sword” (Lickel et al., 2014;. p. 1058). Shame induces the need to change but also that of avoiding the pain which is required to change.

Music masters know perfectly how to use the bright side of shame..bringing shame and transform it into art..

Christina Aguilera – Beautiful

 

 

 

Being in awe of our vulnerability

Sometimes, especially if you work for yourself (the best and the worst life condition together), you have to admit to have some limitations, some vulnerability aspects.

However, instead of admitting it and learn from our vulnerability, we usually cannot stand it.

I am a perfect example of it. Now, I am on my sofa with high fever and dizziness. I should have learnt to appreciate my limitations, instead, I still hate them. Our body knows when it is too much, but we don’t.

Brené Brown is one of the most inspiring persons who knows the hidden value of our vulnerability. I really loved her TED talk about vulnerability and shame.

As an awe researcher, I should learn to experience awe in front of something more powerful than me…in front of my limitations. This does not mean that I can’t overcome them, instead, I have to do so. But, I should accept them first and build upon them..