STILL TWO MONTHS…THE END OF THE PHD: THE IMPORTANCE OF SAYING “NO”

Dear All,

I hav been superpresent during holidays, but I was working on my thesis…As you may imagine. Everything, now, is settled. I have to submit the very final version and les jeux sont faits.

Do you believe me?

I don’t 🙂

My life has changed a lot since the beginning of this path. At the beginning, I spent hours reading articles, now, few minutes, I spent weeks writing articles, now days, I was unsure about what to do and how to direct other people…now..more or less the same but less anxious 🙂 What has changed more? Time available. I have less time to think, to enjoy life, to waste, to ponder on something, to feel anxious about anything. It is time to reduce the speed of living. At the end of PhD people are literally submerged by businesses (you could swim in), and it is only our fault. Our supervisors, our junior, our parents, friends, bosses, relatives ask for time, for attention. I think the solution is just one. “Say no”. We get used to say “yes” during the PhD, and after to cry at our homes being consumed with grief about how to manage all things.

You know what? Now, you can chose what to manage, when and how. As a researcher we should be able to say no. I am the worst one at doing that. I feel the frustration of people so intensively when I say no, that, egoistically, I prefer saying yes always, and then to complain.

The New Years’ resolution is to say “NO or Yes, but later”…

These are things that I have learnt from my research group, not only on my own.

Another thing is being comfortable at being alone. When you grow, you become alone and alone. It is normal. This has been the first year in which I’ve experience what “managing people” means. It means being feared, often misinterpreted, but often also listened as a guide. Finally, you feel the heavy of responsibility, and it is fine.

World starts turning so fast that you cannot think in a step-wise manner any longer..you should start becoming a manager, take decisions, select things, people, activities and learn the most important thing of all: loosing control. And, loosing control means gaining control. I believe it is like a paradox: doing less to achieve more, controlling over less to manage better…I’ll keep you posted on how to pursue these goals pragmatically (actually, I am still working on it :-)).

I have never gone to slip up so often as in these days, so many mistakes followed by so many laughs. Things have different weights now. I have started seeing life from a different perspective and making different plans for my future.

Is PhD a transformative experience?

Yes, it is, and it looks like more as a mix of posttraumatic and postestatic moments, as Mangelsdorf & Eid (2015) labelled traumatic and positive occasions of transformation in life…

 

Phd…is like being on a rollercoaster…

 

 

Who wanna try?

 

 

Philly is chilly today…Let my PhD thesis begin (Eng/Ita)

Hi guys,

very first days in Philly and the snow has come out…frequently I have to say.

This can be nominated as the very first day of my PhD- thesis writing, so I am a little bit disoriented but excited. I wish to begin with an brilliant and innovative introduction on what awe is, and what I have discovered about it so far.

However, I understood that the core theme of my thesis concerns the real nature of awe itself and how to study it within the boundary of contemporary science. In other words, I should start by saying what awe is supposed to be. I will open by questioning awe’s nature as an emotion, contrary to most (even not all) articles on awe.

I saw that the biggest questions is on the nature of this experience. I cannot take for granted even the fact that awe is an emotion..

Today, the Positive Psychology Center lab is closed, so I have plenty of time to write the very first draft of the theoretical chapter. It is 9.00 o’clock and I should start.

Just wish to leave you with this funny image, which my brilliant and smart colleague David B. Yaden sent to me…

It is a way to look at the bright (funny) side..

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Ciao ragazzi,

questi sono i primissimi giorni che trascorro a Filadelfia e la neve è scesa alla fine…direi anche abbastanza frequentemente.

Quindi, oggi si candida come il primo giorno dedicato alla scrittura della mia tesi di dottorato. Devo ammettere di essere un po’ disorientata anche se abbastanza eccitata all’idea di dare una forma finale ai miei sforzi e ai miei pensieri.

Vorrei iniziare con un’introduzione brillante e innovativa su cosa sia awe, e su cosa abbia scoperto finora.

Tuttavia, mi rendo contro che il tema centrale della mia tesi concerne proprio la natura stessa di questo fenomeno e come poterlo studiare in modo scientifico, pur rispettandone l’essenza più profonda. In altri termini, dovrei iniziare dicendo cosa si pensa che sia awe. Quindi, incomincerò mettendo in discussione la natura di awe in quanto emozione convenzionale, contrariamente alla maggior parte degli articoli che trttano di questo tema.

Ho capito che la questione più importante riguarda proprio la natura di questa sperienza, che non posso dare per scontata. Awe nella mia tesi non sarà più solo un’emozione.

 

Oggi il laboratorio al Positive Psychology center è chiuso, quindi ho un po’ di tempo per riflettere e scrivere il primo draft del capitolo teorico. Questo momento è frutto del sostegno di tante persone…loro sanno chi sono e a chi va questo primo ringraziamento. Ora sono le 9.00 a.m. e dovrei iniziare. Quindi vi lascio.

Vorrei soltanto salutarvi con un’immagine divertente che mi ha mandato oggi il mio brillante collega David B. Yaden per avvisarmi che causa neve il lab non sarebbe stato aperto.

Diciamo che è un modo di guardare al lato positivo della vita (sarei stata io in mezzo alla tormenta).